Leadership requires understanding. Understanding seems like a given but it’s far underestimated in our fast pace, no time to think, rush to the next deal culture.
We all want knowledge, and this information age we have the ability to gain knowledge about almost anything we want, and it is right at our finger tips. To engage intellectually we must gain knowledge. However knowledge is simply knowing a subject, it does not necessarily mean that you comprehend it or know how to apply it. Wisdom is the appropriate application of knowledge, and the bridge that takes knowledge to a place of wisdom is understanding.
Getting a firm understanding of a situation or a solution, and especially a person is paramount to effective coaching and implementation. If we are to be good leaders and coaches that add value must practice the discipline of understanding.
HOW DO WE DO IT?
- Take time to see things from several angles.
It is sheer hubris to think the angle we see from is the only one, as if we have a corner on knowledge intellect and perspective. A professor I studied under years ago at the beginning of class passed out a worksheet that included 3 or 4 pages. As it was handed out there was a lot of chatter in the room, and words were spoken like, “your assistant made a mistake,” and “This is is wrong.” etc.
The worksheet that was handed out was stapled in the lower left corner. It confused the whole class and we ultimately laughed over it, but he made a great point. He said, “why is it wrong?” He asked us if we could still read it, could we turn its pages, did it retain its purpose? The answer to all of this was yes, so he asked again, “Why is it wrong?” The answer that we learned that day, is that things are not always issues of right and wrong.
We have a bad habit of seeing things only from our perspective, and if it’s our perspective it’s right and if it’s not it’s wrong. Many times I have engaged a situation that i thought I understood only to find out I didn’t see it clearly. So if we are to get clear understanding, lead well, make good decisions, and add value to others gaining true understanding is vital.
2. Ask objective questions that require multiple responses.
As a leader when we ask leading questions in an attempt to lead people to answer the way we want them to is pure manipulation. When we ask objective questions to find out the thoughts of those we lead, and we asked open ended questions it gives us the opportunity to actually learn something. It gives us a chance to hear a plethora of different thoughts. This gives us the chance to gain understanding of the people answering and the situation being discussed.
3. Listen from a different reference point than your own
How is this possible? We have to acknowledge that a lot of the time when we listen we are hearing what they are saying but reframing it in our minds from our perspective. At times we are merely waiting for them to stop talking, and thinking about what we are going to say when they do. Listening skills are important to leadership and any kind of added value role.
The way we listen from their perspective is to listen from where they are coming from. In other words as you listen consider their background, think about their experiences, realize that the angle they see this from is not the same as yours. This helps you get a firmer grasp on understanding it.
My wife Janae is a teacher. Years ago she taught in an incredibly impoverished school. She had a first grader who could not stay awake. She ultimately had to let him sleep for a bit when he came to school or he wouldn’t be able to function all day. She asked him why he was so tired, and he said things like he had to watch his younger sibling, and that his mom was at the bar at night.
Janae tried to get the mom to meet many times but couldn’t get her to meet. The boy comes in one day and was worse than normal. Disheveled not clean, struggling to stay awake. Janae calls the mom and basically says “You will meet with me at this time or I am going to have to take further steps.”
She didn’t know what else to do.
Janae had begun to imagine who this mom was, and she saw her based on the evidence she had, as a 35 year old bar fly who didn’t care about her kids. The mom finally was able to meet and when she walked in Janae couldn’t believe it. She was a 20 year old girl, who started crying the moment she walked in the room. She explained to Janae that she had gotten pregnant as a teen and her family basically put her out. So she had to try to make it on her own.
Admittedly she said she made some mistakes but was now in college trying to get her degree, and the only job she could find at the time in that town that would work around her schedule was a bar. She cried, and said I know this is a mess, I know I’m not making it, but I don’t know what else to do, If I don’t get this education we will be stuck in poverty for the rest of my life and the life of my kids.
Obviously this turned the tables completely. When Janae saw the situation from a different perspective, the perspective of where this girl was coming from, it empowered her to help. She found resources for the mom and the children, she became somewhat of an advisor to this girl and helped her get on her feet and succeed. All because now she understood. She saw it from another perspective.
4. Actually take time to think about it and don’t always respond immediately.
In the world we currently experience we feel pressure to do everything now. If we want to know something we can google it and have that information now. If we need credit for a purchase we can apply and in seconds have the approval. We can do just about anything right now. So we feel like we have to make decisions now, we have to respond this very moment. What this does is cause us all to be reactionary instead of intentionally responsive.
Regardless of our technological advances, success, significance, learning, developing, and growing all take time. To do and be our best we can not always react. We must intentionally respond, and in order to do that we have to take time to think. It takes time to look at things from different angles. It takes time to see things from other perspectives, and it takes time to gain understanding. You can choose to act on knowledge immediately, but the outcome won’t be wisdom because to properly apply knowledge you must first understand how your knowledge should be applied to that context.
5. Nothing wrong with saying “let me think about it.”
Don’t let the pressure of pride push you into giving answers or making decisions that you are not ready to give, merely because you think someone will think you aren’t smart or that you aren’t a good leader.
Have the courage to take time to think things over. You don’t have to take forever and become overly analytical, but there is nothing wrong with saying I need to think about it, or I need some more research, or I need to understand it better.
Anyone who is a growing, thinking person will appreciate that more than a flippant, reactionary, over-simplistic answer.
So have the strength and insight to allow your knowledge to walk over the bridge of understanding so you can function in wisdom.
It may take time, but its time well spent.
