One of the best leadership skills we can develop is to listen. I know that it seems like leadership should be about talking. It is about casting vision, communicating well, and delegating responsibilities. All of these things require us to talk.
Before we can truly be effective at any of these things, first, we must listen. We need to hear what our team members are saying, where they are coming from, and their experiences.
There are many ways we listen, and most of them don’t really result in truly hearing our people, but they do end in frustration for everyone involved.
- Passive listening: We are listening, but not really. This kind of listening is patronizing. In other words, I am pretending to listen to you to make you feel heard, but I am not really hearing what you say.
- Distracted listening: Listening but not to the person talking, listening instead to our thoughts about what to respond to the person speaking. Some leaders would rather hear their own voice more than they would be successful at connecting with those they lead.
- Pretentious listening: Listening from a place of pretense. Forcing the person speaking to play the pretentious game with you. A leader who is not themselves but pretends to be something else forces everyone in their organization to play along in pretend land because the organization’s entire culture is inauthentic because it is affected by the pretense of the leader. This happens so often, and most of the time the leader doing it has become so invested in the fake character they have created that they are unaware it is even happening, they have lost themselves and to fit in with the organization everyone has to play along.
Leaders who don’t listen, will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.
Andy Stanley
Listening is a tool for success. It is a skill that we can develop and it brings great results. If we learn to listen well, we will be surrounded with ideas, innovations, empowered people and a life filled with those contributing great things towards the success of our organizations.
Learning to listen in a way that empathizes with and seeks to understand the people we are leading, it will create an organizational culture where those on our team will feel completely comfortable bringing their contributions to the team without insecurity.
Listening will help our organizations, it will help those who belong to our teams, and it will help us gain real influence, that will give us room take bold steps and our team will follow.
Listening is powerful. Let’s be excellent at it.
