Leaders are lifelong learners. We are constantly developing and growing. One of the most effective ways to learn is to be mentored and taught personally by someone who has done or is doing what we are trying to do. Someone who can challenge, inspire, and give you wisdom and insight based on the valleys and mountain tops they have experienced on their journey.
So here are 7 Principles to help you find a mentor who can help you grow.
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Stop waiting for a mentor to pursue you. It doesn’t work that way. Pursue them, and invest in yourself by building that relationship. They are not celebrities but leaders like you who often want to help.
Identify what you are looking for in a mentor. What are you trying to learn? Then, pursue a relationship with them. Be willing to invest in that relationship. Go to where they are, buy them coffee or a meal, and respect their time.
2. You are far better served to invest in relationships with people who can mentor you, bring insight to you, and teach you than to spend one dime on programming that promises the moon but delivers nothing more than a way for the program leader to make a name for themselves
Everyone seems to be promoting their program in our current business and coaching/mentoring culture. There is nothing wrong with that. However, a relationship with a leader you can be personally connected to and invested in will help you much more than someone just selling a product.
3. When looking for a mentor, be patient. It takes time to find the right fit
You have more time than you think. Anything worth having, especially in relationships, takes time to develop. Don’t rush it. Know the type of mentor you need, and then be patient as you find the right one.
4. Don’t pursue mentors who need to be treated like celebrities and whose only interest in mentoring you is so they can have sycophantic fans telling them how great they are. You will learn nothing from this.
WARNING…WARNING…WARNING: don’t get caught in the charisma trap while searching for a mentor. Be careful just because someone seems like a big deal, especially if they think they are a big deal. This will not develop you but could distract you from the growth you need to move forward and become what you are trying to become. It’s OK to admire someone, but don’t get caught in the wake of their ego.
5. When pursuing a mentor, Don’t be afraid to be corrected or inspired to change. You’re missing the whole point if you’re looking for a mentor to tell you how great you are. You don’t need them to be your cheerleader. It would be best if you were your coach.
WARNING…WARNING…WARNING: don’t miss the point of mentorship. Don’t force your mentor to get caught in the wake of your ego and need for approval.
6. Younger leaders, if you won’t pursue an older mentor because you think they’re irrelevant, you’re just not very smart and intimidated. They paved the road before you; you would be foolish not to drive down it.
I see a lot of this these days. If an older leader is not trendy enough, then they must not have any value to add. What an amazingly ridiculous assumption. Remember, relevance is not modernity; it is answering the questions being asked. Avoiding mentorship because of older age is like knowing where the buried treasure is and refusing to dig it up.
7. Older leaders, if you think you can’t be mentored by someone younger than you, you are missing out on the opportunity to stay relevant and maintain your passion.
