Does anyone enjoy being criticized? Especially by someone who seems to be a master criticizer. It can be so hard to take. The delivery has a lot to do with that. However, especially as leaders how should we view criticism? Being critiqued has become a normal part of the life of the leader in the business or entrepreneurial world. It is the norm, at least if continual improvement, and growth are the desired result.
It seems however that there is a difference between being critiqued and criticized. There really isn’t that much difference. The greatest difference is their motivation and delivery, but does that really matter? The content is similar regardless of who delivers it or how they deliver it.
Criticism is simply the art of analyzing, evaluating, and judging the quality of something. At times it can be harsh and judgmental, and it can come off as faultfinding, but isn’t that what it takes for a person or organization to become aware of the blind spots that exist in their makeup?
When it comes to being criticized, it is not about the person, motive, or delivery, it’s about the analysis, evaluation, and judgment, and how that can help reveal changes that need to be made or areas that need to be improved.
“Criticism can be effective if we look at the content, not the carrier.”
Criticism can lead to correction if it is allowed to do so, which could result in changes that bring great results. Whether it comes packaged in a nice little evaluation wrapped in a bow, or a scathing complaint written in a vitriolic diatribe. Seeing past the carrier to the content can bring good results.
It’s quite powerful to take a scathing review and improve a business using it. If you truly want to get back at a critic the single best way to get revenge is to lean in, learn, and implement necessary change.
If leaders can take the sting of criticism out of it by not wasting time being angry with the critic then positive change is on the horizon. This is truly the posture of lifelong learning. Learning from everything improves everything.
There is an excellent proverb that speaks to this…
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.”
PROVERBS 12:1 (NIV)
If criticism is allowed to act as a friend, and not seen as a fiend it can create powerful correction, and give a good reason for pure evaluation that will result in changes that culminate in success and significance
HOW TO BEFRIEND CRITICISM
Lean in.
Don’t deny the possibility that the criticism has merit, regardless of its delivery or deliverer. If you want to be angry, turn that passion towards improvement instead of wasting time being livid at the critic. Embrace any form of analysis that can reveal blind spots and produce improvement.
Learn
Critique the criticism. In other words, evaluate the truth in it. Especially if it is coming from a place of frustration, find the redeeming content. Get emotion out of the way, admit there is some truth in it, and as has been said before, “eat the meat and spit out the bones.”
Play a game of true or false. DON’T BE DEFENSIVE.
Honesty is the best policy. Growth comes by taking responsibility. Change doesn’t happen unless the responsibility is taken. Responsibility can not be taken without objective honesty, no matter how painful it is.
Implement the Lesson
Make necessary changes. All options need to be analyzed and the best solution chosen to bring the most effective change in response to the critique. Don’t talk it to death, make the change.
Act on the changes chosen. Get on the same page organizationally, be clear, and collectively take the step of change.
Evaluate the change, adjust based on the evaluation, then move on.
Criticism does not have to be a fiend, even if the intention is fiendish, it can be a friend if looked at as a chance to improve. Criticism can be a friend even when the critic isn’t.
So, Fiend or Friend? Definitely FRIEND.